Learning to Breathe - 'Don't be fooled there is no right or wrong way to breathe all we need is intention.'

 

'It all points to one thing'

Learning to Breathe 

"Just breathe" is one of the most annoying things one can say to you in times of crisis, stress and feelings of anxiety. So is, "Have you tried meditation or yoga? The first thought that comes up is 'fuck off it's not going to stop anything I'm still going to be sick, anxious.'

 

There's also this barrage of information on regulating your nervous system so many social media pages, stating 'this is the way and the only way' and it's kind of bullshit if you ask me, 'try my workshop for the low price of $500 that will cure your nervous system forever'. It's actually quite disgusting preying on vulnerable people while trying to make bank; we apparently even don’t sleep correct and certain movements show dysregulation. It's just recycled, re-used and re-packaged posts with different faces. These people most probably just read studies, books and call themselves practitioners. The knowledge is for all, we don't need a guru to guide us we have the tools of the internet at the tip of our fingers and we can buy books. This type of work is also very empowering when you do it yourself its self-exploring and a self-study, every human being is different so I also believe it can’t be a stock standard approach.

 

I can share my experience with retraining my breathing. Prior to FND I breathed with my chest and it wasn't that great so when FND and POTS hit I was struggling even more to breathe; my chest hurt so much within this period. After onset started to lift a bit, I researched breathing techniques and belly breathing seemed most natural. Watching little children sleep, their little bellies rise and fall rhythmically.

 

I started lying in bed and breathing in and expanding my belly and lower ribs, counting 4, 4, 4, 4. Four seconds in, pause, 4 second exhale and 4 second pause. It felt so foreign it would give me anxiety, for some people breathing isn't for them, it can create more stress focusing on it. But I kept at it for myself I wanted to see if I could feel less anxious within the practise.

 

It took a good year for myself to get it right and I noticed I enjoyed a longer exhale so I rolled with it. Tried different ranges of breathing and played with it until I found the style of breathing that I liked. What do you mean we just breathe automatically? Yes we do however breathing with the pure intention to just breathe has a different impact.

 

I slowly noticed that it cut off rumination of thought processes that weren't healthy within moments; I noticed that it created a gap in the stream of thoughts and i felt a sense of content. Self-agency came through within these moments and reflection. And I did a load of self-work just with breathing, I could notice when I was triggered, noticed when I was thinking and what my subconscious mind tapes were playing, or it was just a time of enjoyment and elation. I also became less reactive towards situations and episodes. I could sit with a situation and feel it fully, accept and feel the feelings and then rationale would come into play.

 

When scary episodes happen the first thing that will happen is the mind freaking out ‘this is the end’ and that isn't helpful within moments of crisis, so I fell back to just breathing, acknowledging it is scary, but I will be ok. So breathing is my go-to, the very first management tool I use.

 

That stems back from onset, it was aggressive all I felt like was I was observing what was happening whilst being trapped in this deep FND void. It felt as though I had no control over any bodily function all I really had was a staggered breathing. While onset was hard I fall back deep into that, just allowing episodes to be, witnessing it, sinking below the symptoms and episodes don't last as long nor do they impact me emotionally as much. I've created a gap between episodes, the mind freaking out and going into a place of acceptance and sinking into it without fear.

 

I didn't just practise breathing during hard moments, I breathed in times of rest, joy, doing tasks, within yoga and meditation because I didn't want it to be just something I did when I wasn't feeling the best, I wanted it to become a natural thing. And it is now, I automatically belly breath and I automatically stop pause and breathe during my days.

 

I have practised my own form of yoga that suits my body which is a yin, somatic style whilst lying down and I have spent time meditating and it all just comes back to one thing, breathing with focus and intention. I don't particularly meditate or do yoga much anymore, because for myself breathing is enough now.

 

I had a period of time scrambling around trying all these different things, from cold showers, vagal movements and reading too many different books. To fix myself and I found the more I tried to find the 'thing that would make me better' I actually became worse within my mental landscapes. It wasn't very accepting of my conditions, to believe I could cure myself if I only do these ten things, it became ritualistic, rigid and unhealthy. But what I noticed that every new thing I tried breathing was at the forefront and at the base of everything. After I reached that conclusion things changed.

 

Yoga involves breathing,

Meditation involves breathing,

Somatic exercises involves breathing,

Vagal toning involves breathing,

Cold plunging involves breathing.

 

Please don't let the barrage of information from so many different sources overwhelm you or think you need to try them all, find something that works for you, we are all individuals we all tick different. Our bodies are all very different; i can only share my experience.

 

I love breathing, I spend time during the school pick-ups watching a certain tree move with the wind and it's my favourite time during the weeks to breathe, just me and Mr Tree moving and swaying giving me an awesome show, I'm excited for winter to see how aggressive he moves. I feel connected and rejuvenated after this moment.

 

I also practise breathing and body work as I fall asleep it’s a beautiful tool to utilise, please note that breathing I believe should be done in moments of calmness it then tends to become second nature and when anxious moments come up it’s an instinctual pattern that we fall back into.  It teaches us to slow down and enter a period of relaxation and awareness of the present moment. I will actively breathe throughout the day with the intention to breathe, that may be during tasks or in moments of rest.