Hidden in Plain Sight - 'Wisdom is found within hidden spaces, we must be attentive.'

May 01, 2025

Hidden in Plain Sight - 'Wisdom is found within hidden spaces, we must be attentive.'

Hidden in Plain Sight

The paper lay bare for a duration longer than I would have liked, I felt a sense of unease that I wasn't getting any lessons to learn via my practise and as I shut the book in 2023 a time of living and experiencing happened.

The ebbs and flows throughout the days of symptoms my now everyday life and big life events. My weeks were filled with finally getting my daughter supports for her ASD my time was spent emailing, calling and organising with multiple services. Days were spent with her service providers and advocating as best I could for her. I was living and breathing, conserving energy as best I could with these new expectations and lists of things to.

Around April to June is our silly season of celebration, it was shunted quite quickly due to things of urgency. I was thrown back into the medical fields, a place that felt dangerous and I felt I had to tread lightly. The trauma of onset lay within my mind and the horrible treatment within my diagnosis process was at the forefront again; a level of medical trauma has left a mark unfortunately.

A new diagnosis peri menopause at thirty-four years of age. I knew this new feeling of anxiety on top of the current anxiety was off, also stark signs of bleeding and atrophy. I had to take charge and advocate for myself, I had to be very clear of what testing I needed so I could go to the gynaecologist armed with blood tests and a list of symptoms, I was diagnosed that day.

An emergency surgery for my daughter due to an accident, my little four-year-old baby girl with ASD took a fall and injured her mouth quite badly, the first trip to emergency I did with my son. Sent back home and a few hours later she would need to be back there, my partner took her for surgery and many hours of waiting and feeling anxious of her being put under. No parent enjoys having their child having surgery, it creates a time of stress.

And then a day surgery that went horribly wrong for my partner. Another late-night trip to the hospital, he himself dealt with inadequate care and doctors laughing at him at his symptoms were apparently not a direct cause of the surgery. Weeks went by and he didn't get better, a GP trip and a two second check confirmed what I thought and I put a complaint into the hospital. Antibiotics, bloods and CT scans. It took a few months for him to recover which meant I had a carer who was in pain, lethargic and irritated as one would. We took turns in caring for the kids and directing the other to sleep while the other took over, we had to tag each other in.

The year of 2024 was a, what's next? I started Psychology and thought it would be of help. I was able to save money slowly since 2022 to be able to have 10 Medicare sessions, I had the funds now. I was talking to a Psychologist within the Outpatients hospital and my new Psychologist. Both weren't a great fit, the concept of exposure therapy set me back very far. All of these great habits I had learnt and practised were seen as unhelpful and it was like being thrown into an ocean with no life raft to help me. Within this year I needed softness and lightness; not heavier.

These big events seemed to be a blow after another after another, the time for rest was stretched thin. Therefore, I wasn't coping very well; life seemed dark and unpredictable within the year 2024.

Thankfully nearing the end of the year a few great things happened, I found a psychologist who was trauma informed, disability informed and willing to help with my needs the words I will help with applying for DSP and NDIS felt like a big sigh of relief i could see the light ahead within the heavy again.

I had also been asked to exhibit in WA. A Curator with the same conditions as me and at the same time of onset, was on her own healing journey and we connected via our shared experiences. She within onset thought her career was done, but with an adaptability mindset she believed she would exhibit again with unconventional approaches she banded a group of artists together and we successfully exhibited SICK AF with fantastic feedback. She was a powerhouse ready to dismantle and forge a new path for disabled and chronically sick artists. Our exhibit went on to be accepted at Art on The Move for a two-year tour. This felt like a universal gift given to me, I didn’t have to fight for it, it just landed within my lap. Throughout this entire experience I have stayed true to myself, listened to my body and was raw and honest within my communication with others, due to this the curator saw that I had power behind my work.

As the Earth started to warm again, my spark for art ignited and I began to draw Hidden in Plain Sight, a collection of little insects. This collection was a reminder that within life things are churning over and opportunities are within reach, they are just hidden for a while and come out as little gifts. It was also a collection of remembrance of all the self-work I had done over the years, the practices and healthy behavioural changes I had instilled within myself.

Nothing was lost, I had just forgotten as I was heavy in the trenches of life.

Hidden in Plain sight also marks my initial goal of creating fifty prints, a goal I thought I wouldn't achieve it seemed so far away in 2022 was now here. I felt as though I was living within a cycle, and this collection marks the completion of this cycle.

A four-year journey marked by fifty pieces of artwork.

'I take life's suffering,

and turn it into my strengths.

Alchemy.'